It's been eight (8) long years since the last Robert Langdon adventure (Origin). Six years of which, us true Brown-heads (this doesn't seem right, can someone verify this is what fans of Dan Brown call themselves), have regularly performed web searches for variations of "new dan brown book" in vain hopes of at least a scant rumor. At last our prayers are answered. Renowned Symbologist Robert Langdon is back in the hit new Dan Brown book, THE SECRET OF SECЯETS! 

Is it okay with you if I don't type the backwards Я for the rest of the Яeview?

This review will be as spoiler free as possible. Part of the fun of these books are the reveals, unraveling mysteries, and twists that the reader uncovers. So I will paint with very broad strokes in discussing the plot. In fact, this might end up being more of a ramblings than a review anyways.

Wednesday morning we received an anonymous package delivered to Pound Exclaim Headquarters. It arrived in a plain yellow A4 envelope with no address or any writing at all. The sole contents: a generic 32GB USB thumb drive. Our IT team warned us that this was probably a phishing attempt and that we should not plug it into any of our office computers. Smart. So I went to the library and plugged it into one of the city owned computers meant for the whole community to share. Much safer for that to get hacked or infected. There was a single file on the drive: "untitled.pdf." Obviously, this would be safe to open as you cannot put a "virus" into a digital "document" so I double-clicked to see what was contained within.

Words. Words upon words for nearly 8 whole pages. But I only had to read the first line to know what I had in front of me. My limbs tingled. Could it be true? I devoured the text ravenously and immediately went right back to the beginning to read again. Yes. This anonymously delivered anonymous file appeared to contain an excerpt from an unpublished or unreleased Dan Brown story featuring protagonist Robert Langdon. 

As a huge The DaVinci Code fan, I've read every single Dan Brown book and I had never before read the words on the screen on that library computer. Someone must have hacked his laptop to steal this story excerpt. But why? Or maybe it is from a viral marketing campaign for his new forthcoming book The Secret of Secrets available September 9. Either way, I was thrilled to have this in my possession and honestly a little bit scared too. What if they knew I had this and they came for me? 

In an act of extreme bravery and selflessness, I have decided to publish the contents of this document in full here on Pound Exclaim. You, the public, need to see this. It is journalistic integrity. As such, I make no claims regarding the contents of the file, their origin, or connection to any persons including author Dan Brown. I'm just a humble truth teller.

Hit the jump to read the full text of untitled.pdf -->

The blue to red gradient (while not quite bi-sexual lighting) reminds you that this is sandwich for everyone, no matter your favorite sports team or political views. Or maybe it's supposed to be evocative of the French Flag, honoring their influence in Creole cuisine.

These days we get so wrapped up in our favorite digital advertisements on our phones, computers, tablets, televisions, and kitchen appliances, that sometimes we forget to go outside and receive advertising the old fashioned way. I know the kids don't believe in legacy media, but sometimes it just feels good to remind yourself that "We live in a society world!" and go outside to touch grass view print advertising!

Recently, while doing my second favorite activity--driving car / creating traffic--I was blessed with a vision sent from above. Approximately 20 feet above. When I espied the glorious 672 square feet of prime location billboard proclaiming: "NEW CAJUN CRUNCH" at Wendy's. I almost puked from excitement.

Celebrating 50 Years of Miller Beer With Limited Edition Gimmick Products

It's Memorial Day weekend and after we've thanked and remembered our troops, what better way to spend the extra day off work than sitting down to enjoy some limited edition anniversary special releases from one of the top beer conglomerates?

This is going to be quick because I have to get back to standing around with the fellas saying "uhyup" King Of The Hill style. I just wanted to drop a quick review after spotting these irresistible items in the grocery store.

We are quickly approaching the date 4/20 (blaze it) so I thought it would be the perfect time to review Doritos Blaze. It's a flavor of corn chip created by the Frito Lay Corporation. You're perhaps familiar with the standard Doritos flavors: "Nacho Cheese" (the default/original flavor) and "Cool Ranch" (also known as "Cool American" in non-American countries). Blaze is relatively new and somewhat scarce in many chips aisles--two reasons why I had to try it.

The truth is, though, I've been working on the same bag of Doritos Blaze corn chips since the US American Football Super Bowl Tournament. At this point that's about two months of Blaze. And it hasn't taken me so long to eat these chips because I'm a bit of a health nut. Because I've totally crushed entire bags of other styles and flavors of chips and snacks in the interim. I've been savoring these DBlazes for so long because (review preview: I don't like them).

I don't want to finish the bag even though it's primarily crumbs at this point. And I don't want to waste food. Can I mail a mostly eaten bag of chips to starving children someplace? Will local ducks eat DBlaze?

We are mere hours away from Super Bowl LII (52?) where the New England Patriots and Philadelphia Eagles will battle it out on the gridiron for the Championship Title: "NFL Champions." Who will win? What are you eating? Where will you watch it? What are you wearing?

At the time of this writing it has been a fortnight and four since the drop of Taylor Swift's hot new record Reputation. And since its midnight release I have been listening to the album on repeat non-stop except for breaks to listen to The Writer's Almanac. Even in my sleep my eardrums thrum to the thuds of the deep throbbing bass, wondering what I made her do. I'm ready for discourse. (Note to self: in that last sentence I see potential for some type of disc golf course related play on words. Circle back to this in the future)