Book Review: The Secret Of Secrets by Dan Brown
It's been eight (8) long years since the last Robert Langdon adventure (Origin). Six years of which, us true Brown-heads (this doesn't seem right, can someone verify this is what fans of Dan Brown call themselves), have regularly performed web searches for variations of "new dan brown book" in vain hopes of at least a scant rumor. At last our prayers are answered. Renowned Symbologist Robert Langdon is back in the hit new Dan Brown book, THE SECRET OF SECЯETS!
Is it okay with you if I don't type the backwards Я for the rest of the Яeview?
This review will be as spoiler free as possible. Part of the fun of these books are the reveals, unraveling mysteries, and twists that the reader uncovers. So I will paint with very broad strokes in discussing the plot. In fact, this might end up being more of a ramblings than a review anyways.
Book Facts
688 pages. 139 Chapters. Is there a map illustration on the inside cover? You bet!
At first I was thinking that the page count was high for this series, but it is actually in line with most of the other Robert Langdon books. Maybe they just seem shorter in my memory because you fly through reading them.
Plot Summary From The Inside Flap
ROBERT LANGDON, esteemed professor of symbology, has traveled to Prague to attend a groundbreaking lecture by Katherine Solomon--a prominent noetic scientist with whom he has recently begun a romantic relationship. Katherine is on the verge of publishing a breakthrough book that contains explosive scientific discoveries about the nature of human consciousness...revelations that threaten to disrupt centuries of established belief.
When a brutal murder catapults the trip into chaos, Katherine suddenly goes missing--and her manuscript is destroyed. Desperate to find the woman the loves, Langdon embarks on a thrilling race through the mystical landscape of Prague, ruthlessly hunted by a powerful organization and a chilling assailant sprung from the city's ancient mythology.
As the action expands to London and New York, Langdon plunges into the dual worlds of futuristic science and historical lore--navigating a labyrinth of codes and symbols...and finally uncovering a shocking truth about a secret project that will forever change the way we think about the human mind.
As the action expands to London and New York, Langdon plunges into the dual worlds of futuristic science and historical lore--navigating a labyrinth of codes and symbols...and finally uncovering a shocking truth about a secret project that will forever change the way we think about the human mind.
Sounds awesome! Right?
I actually had to type that out by hand, reading from the inside cover flap. Because when I went to websites to find the same copy to just select and copy/paste into here I noticed that the version online is different. Our visually astute Langdomaniacs may have already noticed their first code to crack.
There are several "fun" "Easter Eggs" included on the dust jacket. It's like a child's placemat at a family restaurant with some puzzles to solve while waiting for the meal. Because, let's face it, the target audience for this book still has fun coloring with crayons on placemats.
Adjective Profession
From this description we see that our esteemed professor of symbology is joined on his adventure by prominent noetic scientist Katherine Solomon. It's as much her adventure as his, but seeing as the brilliant genius hero protagonist Robert Langdon is Dan Brown's surrogate the story is filtered through his perspective. The whole adjective profession is a reoccurring tic, where either Brown can't help himself or he's having some cheeky fun with his haters.
Brown has been lambasted for his hackneyed writing style. I agree with the sentiment that this isn't Capital-L-Literature for sure (not even lowercase-l-literature). And it's these types of tics that are maybe inextricable from this author, that tend to stand out to the reader once you notice them. Each occurrence serves to elevate the character's prestige--esteemed, renowned, prominent, talented. These people are special, smart, and well respected. It can become tedious.
OK, I'll Bite: What Is A Noetic Scientist?
 |
| Toothpastefordinner.com |
If the name Solomon seems familiar it's because your memory is working. Katherine's older brother, the billionaire philanthropist Free Mason, Peter Solomon, was the Secretary of The Smithsonian Institution in The Lost Symbol and is a mentor and father figure to Langdon. We get our first introduction to Katherine in The Lost Symbol, and Peter's son, Zachary Solomon, also played a prominent role in that story.
Katherine Solomon is four years older than Robert Langdon. Well, in fact, Katherine was an assistant professor to Robert while he was an undergrad at Princeton. "His quiet schoolboy crush on her had gone either unnoticed or unrequited, but they’d enjoyed a flirtatious, platonic friendship ever since." So it's not exactly a problematic age gap, and the student-teacher dynamic is long past, but it still might have Woke Readers scratching at their collars.
How Old Is Robert Langdon Anyways?
On page 27, Langdon is described as being "in his fifties." Which I take to mean 59. His canonical birth date--according to the Robert Langdon fandom wiki--is June 22, 1964. This happens to be the exact same birthday as renowned author Dan Brown. At publication (September 2025) this would put Robert at 61 years old.
I'm assuming that Langdon's timeline is RealTime, since he is the same guy as Brown himself. And it's not like The Simpsons where the characters never age. Or even some magical reverse dog years aging where for every 10 real world years, the characters only age 5 years. It's taken 8 years to get this book on shelves, and I imagine a lot of it was written during the global Plannedemic. If I had to guess, I'd put this in winter 2023.
Clues:
- We know it's winter because it's snowing and cold in Prague.
- It namedrops a Netflix show that was released in July of 2022.
- It references "Bard," the Google AI that was announced in Feb 2023, and rebranded/folded into "Gemini" a year later
Why is this important? It's not, I was just trying to figure it out.
The Review
Sweet Beginnings
The Secret of Secrets opens with an epigraph quoting Nikola Tesla "The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries." On the next page:
FACT:
All artwork, artifacts, symbols, and documents in this novel are real.
All experiments, technologies, and scientific results are true to life.
All organizations in this novel exist.
And so the stage is set. This is Dan Brown letting us know, "hey guys all of this is basically real--or could be real--I'm just making an exciting story out of very real things. Think about that why dontya?" It's the same way he establishes all of his books (citation needed). Doing this creates a framework for conspiratorial thinking, which helps to ground an otherwise farfetched story in reality.
This is part of Brown's magic. He takes things that we all might have some passing tangential awareness of and explo(r/d)es it with wild possibilities. They're the things that you'd shrug off or roll your eyes at if someone in the real world started talking about it in the same way. And somehow it draws the reader in, wanting to fill in those nebulous gray voids at the fringes of our perception. The idea that this fiction is based on reality lets us feel like we're being initiated into a secret society and getting a momentary glimpse behind the curtain.
What's Inside
The majority of the book takes place in the city of Prague in the Czech Republic. It's a magical and mysterious European city with a rich history and much architecture--the perfect setting for a Robert Langdon adventure. For the most part, the bulk of it also occurs over the course of a single day--the perfect timeframe for a Robert Langdon adventure. So much happens in such a short amount of time at a breakneck pace. This is quite typical for our brilliant scholar of symbols.
(Spoiler that this doesn't happen: But it would be funny if he had to get up early and teach the next morning)
However, this pacing is another key element to Brown's writing style. The chapters are short and almost always end with a cliff hanger. This technique, combined with a 6th grade reading level, keeps the reader going and going, eager to devour just a few more pages then I'm going to bed for real this time. 688 pages, 139 chapters, that's an average of 4.9 pages per chapter. I would say most are even less than that with just a few longer ones sprinkled in.
Speaking of 6th graders: for the curious parents, this book is PG-13. There's a smattering of cussing, and of course some violence (dangerous powerful shadow organizations and everything), but most of the sexy stuff (of which, not much is present) is merely implied or fades to black when they start smooching. Guns are copacetic but a naked boob is not!
The cliffhangers are mostly cheap tricks--presenting and withholding--creating a question whose answer is sure to come later. I guess that's how those work, though. Let me make up a couple just for fun, as an exercise:
Langdon pulled back the dusty crates at the far end of the dim garage. There it was, finally, the Universe Box. It held the secrets of all of creation and it was 10 feet away from his reach. Just then came a deafening rip as a motorcycle roared to life and immediately sped out of the garage doors. It was piloted by a shadowy figure with a black leather jacket bearing the symbol of the inverted devil. And in one heart dropping moment, Langdon saw what was strapped to the back of the motorcycle as it faded into the cold dusk. The Universe Box.Or maybe
They were all out of options. The only thing left to do was let Xazar Corps' secret police find them, and hopefully capture rather than kill. Unless...
His studies in cryptographic research suddenly flashed across his eidetic memory and gave Robert Langdon a brilliant idea. After explaining his plan, Jessica and Desmona sat in shocked admiration of his masterful ingenuity. It was their only option and it just might work.
Okay okay, we're just having a little fun here. Despite the obvious tee-ups to end each chapter, he does eventually give answers for them all. In fact, that's another "great" thing about Dan Brown. You never have to think too hard. He always spoon feeds you the entire way. You always get the full meal. Sure, if you probe deeper into anything or think about anything beyond what's right in front of you, it might leave you feeling unsated. That's the thing though: just unplug your brain and have fun! There are no metaphors here, and ironically, no symbolism either.
It's a popcorn book. And that's fine. You'll tear though it in a matter of a few days. It will be picked up by Netflix, turned into a limited series, and make millions of dollars. And you'll patiently wait 5-10 years for the next one. The masses are asses, and this is for them (us). It's POPULAR. Let me tell you: my local library has 434 copies across print, audio, and e-book. When I put a hold on it a month before release, my spot in line was (also) someplace in the 400's. So I pre-ordered from the Shopping Website, and still received a second printing?! I'm looking for sales figures online, but don't see any yet.
I sometimes wonder if authors like this are writing to their full potential. Or if this was a deliberate decision to write a dumb popular book that would make them rich. People write for different reasons, and we all have to make our way in this crazy topsy turvy world, so why not become a millionaire using your imagination and a typewriter? This is a topic for a separate full post.
**Extremely You-To-Me Voice** "Are You Ever Going To Actually Review This Book?"
I digress! I told you at the top that I wasn't going to cover much of the plot, so as to remain spoiler-free. Because that's the worst thing in media these days, is to spoil something. Because everything relies on some sort of twist or reveal now, instead of having beautiful prose/imagery, or a story that is interesting or worthwhile to read/view regardless of plot. It's a crutch (and then a prison) to write this way. Just ask M Night Shyamalan.
Additional Quibbles
In addition to the strengths/weakness of Dan Brown heretofore covered, I have a few more quibbles to discuss as pertaining to this book, The Secret of Secrets. They are quintessential to the way Dan Brown writes (this character?).
Mansplaining
There is soooo much mansplaining in this book. It is so tedious and makes me wonder how insufferable Brown might be in real life, if his writing is any reflection of his personal self. In several instances, Langdon is oblivious to a concept that his prominent brilliant scientist girlfriend begins to explain, only for Langdon to immediately catch on, take over the conversation, know more about it than her, and explain it back to her. Besides specific instances of this, Langdon is generally The Smartest Guy In The Room and always letting everyone around him know it.
I suppose that's what we signed up for, though. There are only so many ways for an author to do a knowledge dump, or plot dump; so having a genius protagonist just explain everything directly sort of works.
Wikipedia
I know that Wikipedia is an amazing resource (please donate just $2.99 today!) and it must be a BOON for writers and their research. No longer do they have to go to a specific library for a specific reference book to learn about an arcane topic. Just get online! This tends to manifest itself in the work. I'm not saying plagiarism, but often when our King (Langdon) is Going Off (mansplaining) it reads like a chunk summarized out of Wikipedia.
Certainly it's not as egregious as Ready Player One, in which, for most of the book it seemed like author Ernest Cline just did a web search for "[80s/90s] nostalgia" and then copy/pasted whatever list popped up first.
Regardless, the Wikipedia articles regurgitated into Langdon's monologue are also tedious. I don't remember The Da Vinci Code being this bad about it (and I'm afraid to re-read it because I know it won't hold up and it will no longer be my favorite book). And also maybe there wasn't enough meat in the emerging topic of noetic science as there was for the dark secrets and history of the Catholic church.
Idiot/Genius
It is well established and constantly reinforced throughout the book that Robert Langdon is a certified big brain smart guy. Yet (maybe to ground him, to show a chink in his intellectual armor) he is often a dummy. Like he's so smart he's stupid in some scenarios. Or also like "for all your erudition, you don't know this???"
Winking At The Audience
Don't wink at me! I'm not here, you don't see me. I'm an outside observer to a self-contained world. Don't make me a part of this!
Nods, winks, Easter eggs. Get 'em outta here! This is a book, not a Marvel movie!
Repetition
Have you ever watched Dragon Ball Z? The episodes are 20 minutes long, where the first five minutes is "previously on Dragon Ball Z" and the final five minutes is "next time on Drazon Ball Z" and it spends so much time retelling what's happened or is about to happen.
Well, there's something to that effect in this book. The chapters usually alternate between (Scene 1) and (Scene 2) back and forth with an occasional (Scene 3) thrown in. And being 4.9 pages long on average, there's not a lot to remember in between scenes. And yet still, some chapters will tread basically the exact same thing as 2 chapters ago. It doesn't advance anything, or expound upon it in a meaningful way. Does he think we're morons that need a reminder of what just happened (or cliffhanger hasn't happened)?
I don't mind an occasional reminder to bring things back into focus, but this felt like padding it out to hit a page count in a lot of places.
Artificial Intelligence
About 2/3 of the way into the book a couple of the characters in a couple different scenarios have a brief conversation about artificial intelligence (AI). Not like "real" sci-fi AI, but like the LLMs that are shoved down our throats and integrated into every device and interface against our will in the real world. And I hadn't thought about it until that point, but we do live in this world now where the slop machine can burn an ocean to generate some slop in the form of words.
It made me wonder if any of what I was currently reading was generated with AI. I kind of took it for granted that an established successful author wouldn't resort to such means. But at the same time, it might explain some things about the quality of writing (and the repetition?). Thinking about AI authored or AI assisted books isn't something I've really had to contend with conceptually yet. I don't like reading that stuff. Maybe I'll only read pre-2023 books until we as a society develop some type of official certification for human-made no AI books/art/media.
Conclusion
The back cover of the book has a selection of blurbs from previous Dan Brown books. The blurb from USA TODAY for Origin extolls: "Fans of globetrotting symbologist Robert Langdon will be thrilled."
And I think that sums it up pretty well. It's not praise or condemnation--it doesn't say it's good or bad. It's just "if you like this kinda stuff, well, here's more of it." Because Dan Brown books aren't "good" but they are FUN! They're exciting to read! (It's called a "Thriller" sweatie, look it up). If you liked the previous five Robert Langdon books, then you're in for a treat because this is a sixth one to read.
For me personally, this didn't hit the same way as The Da Vinci Code (the best in the series for a reason), but he still has the juice. I actually thought Brown might be running low on juice after reading Origins. And I think it would be okay for him to retire Robert Langdon. Give us another standalone like Deception Point. I mean, really, they're all basically the same book over and over anyways.
Also, on a personal note to Dan Brown: you don't have to keep raising the stakes like this. "A discovery that will change the world forever." Or "the truth about the origins of life" etc. Pretty soon you're going to have a situation where you can't continue to escalate after sending Ludacris and Tyrese into space in a Pontiac Fiero based rocket ship.
Summary
Is this book good?
Well...
Is this book awesome fun?
YES!
Will this book forever change the way we think about the human mind?
Maybe, hit me up for a book club after you've read it.
Comments
Post a Comment